Half a year after I told my husband, “Stop being so selfish,” he disappeared. No, it’s not that he disappeared, but rather became transparent. Bread (the cat) could probably see him. Bread, a stray cat who was only spoiled by my husband, would still show his belly under the sofa my husband would always sit on, even after his disappearance.
What exactly should I have said that day? He told me, completely out of the blue, “I want to be a woman.” Not stopping, I asked vehemently, “What am I supposed to do?” He shut up after that and didn’t utter another word. Unlike me, he was so good at holding things in, so I thought, “Why now?” Even if it was painful, I wanted him to work through it on his own for my sake.
The season had fully turned into summer. I saw watermelons lined up at the greengrocer and remembered that he loved watermelons. He was born in summer and told me there would be a watermelon on the dining table for his birthday, but he never ate any at home since he came to live with me, because I didn’t like them.
I bought a watermelon and brought it back to the house, thinking he might still be there. Without realizing, I said “I’m back,” and at that, I felt a familiar presence.