I thought I’d commit suicide. It was the end of summer. I realized I’ve never seen a whale shark. Until then, I’d try to live.
I went to the aquarium. It’s in Osaka and the largest one in the world. Even though I’d lived nearby for years, this was my first visit. The whale shark was bigger than I imagined. I thought I wanted to see the tiger at the zoo next.
I went to the zoo in Tennoji by subway. The tigers in the cage didn’t frighten me much. The young woman next to me wore a long-sleeved hoodie.
“Aren’t you hot wearing a hoodie in this weather?”
She seemed a bit surprised by my sudden question but answered.
“I don’t want to get sunburned. It’s more breathable than it looks. I bought it at UNIQLO.”
“Hmmm, that’s cool. I want one, too. You came to the zoo alone, so you have time, right? Let’s go together.”
I went to the woman’s house that day and slept with her.
“You know, today, I’m planning to die because my boyfriend broke up with me.”
“How’re you gonna do it?”
“I didn’t think about it too seriously, there’s so many ways to do it.”
“I still don’t feel like I’m really alive.”
The next morning, she wasn’t there. I threw myself in front of an oncoming train at Ibaraki Station.